Oh, I'm so sorry you were feeling lachrymose. Maybe the cliff isn’t doom; maybe it’s altitude sickness. You've just crested Everest. Welcome to the most exclusive club in the world: writers who actually finish... I mean, we should probably start calling you Tenzing! :)
Hello, disappoint my old friend. It is a fucked up ride we’ve hitched. There’s no escaping the trough of despair. All we can do is hope to minimize how long we wallow in it. Take it easy on yourself. You’ve more than earned your right to be here (says someone who’s not sure he’ll ever be a part of that club).
Hey Ben, good to see you. Yes, it’s a nuts ride we’ve chosen, isn’t it? The highs are so amazing, yet the lows…. That’s real sweet of you to say that about earning my place. The truth is just by being born we have a default evidence of that right, but my wiring is such that I’m ever leaping… (Like it or not, you’re part of the club.)
Well done on your first draft, and yes, you must be tired! You’re allowed! It’s emotional enough to write a book and then the world is mad but I’m glad you can go to the beach! I’m hoping to go back to Spain soon (I live in Switzerland near Geneva but have a house in Spain, too) and go IN the sea. Such a craving! I’m in the final stages of putting together my second poetry book and I’m knackered and feel like I’m teetering on the cliff, and it’s windy, too! Where are you in the south of France? DM me if you like, maybe we won’t be too far away from each other when you’re in France and I’m in Spain 🤗 Loved the live yesterday but need to go back and listen from the beginning as I didn’t catch it all 🙏 Hugs! Cesca x
I embarked on my Masters as a deliberate strategy of distraction, after my wife passed, and — by and large — it has been successful.
But, every now and again, the deep well of sadness that accompanies me (like a water ballon, liable to any environmental friction or sharpness) dislocates and threatens to drown me. The fear that I may not pull out of the spiral grips me and the vertigo dizzies me. My give-a-damn fails (apologies to Jo Dee Messina) almost utterly and it is not clear if I can re-focus. Even given time.
I must ascribe it to the depth of love we shared and my journey now must be a solitary one, I knew and I know, but it still overwhelms me some days.
As you noted, emotions are not logical; they do not conform to rules and reason. They are demanding and deserving of respect, however. One ignores them with high peril. As my mother-in-law would say, "This too shall pass."
Ha. Yes. She’s so bloody rational isn’t she - that other voice. I mean, WTAF. Although, for what it’s worth - I think you’ll be ok too. Im still chuckling (whatever)
I know it's no consolation, but some of us who abandoned our creative urges 50 years ago for job security and a "career" are enjoying your books a great deal in our dotage. My Orthodox ophthalmologist saw my copy of In Judgement of Others at a recent visit and engaged me at some length in a Talmudic discussion of the ills of judging anyone. You never know. Thank you for your work. Good stuff!
Rational, inarguable wisdom is the fucking worst
The. Worst.
Oh, I'm so sorry you were feeling lachrymose. Maybe the cliff isn’t doom; maybe it’s altitude sickness. You've just crested Everest. Welcome to the most exclusive club in the world: writers who actually finish... I mean, we should probably start calling you Tenzing! :)
🏔️🙌
“if I stopped trying so hard to prove I deserve to be here, I might not get so tired” plays on loop in my head
yup
What is wrong with us? Want to start a club? I have the same song and it’s not on Taylor Swift’s new album.
Ha! Yes.
Hello, disappoint my old friend. It is a fucked up ride we’ve hitched. There’s no escaping the trough of despair. All we can do is hope to minimize how long we wallow in it. Take it easy on yourself. You’ve more than earned your right to be here (says someone who’s not sure he’ll ever be a part of that club).
Hey Ben, good to see you. Yes, it’s a nuts ride we’ve chosen, isn’t it? The highs are so amazing, yet the lows…. That’s real sweet of you to say that about earning my place. The truth is just by being born we have a default evidence of that right, but my wiring is such that I’m ever leaping… (Like it or not, you’re part of the club.)
Well done on your first draft, and yes, you must be tired! You’re allowed! It’s emotional enough to write a book and then the world is mad but I’m glad you can go to the beach! I’m hoping to go back to Spain soon (I live in Switzerland near Geneva but have a house in Spain, too) and go IN the sea. Such a craving! I’m in the final stages of putting together my second poetry book and I’m knackered and feel like I’m teetering on the cliff, and it’s windy, too! Where are you in the south of France? DM me if you like, maybe we won’t be too far away from each other when you’re in France and I’m in Spain 🤗 Loved the live yesterday but need to go back and listen from the beginning as I didn’t catch it all 🙏 Hugs! Cesca x
Yes
Tu quoque?
I embarked on my Masters as a deliberate strategy of distraction, after my wife passed, and — by and large — it has been successful.
But, every now and again, the deep well of sadness that accompanies me (like a water ballon, liable to any environmental friction or sharpness) dislocates and threatens to drown me. The fear that I may not pull out of the spiral grips me and the vertigo dizzies me. My give-a-damn fails (apologies to Jo Dee Messina) almost utterly and it is not clear if I can re-focus. Even given time.
I must ascribe it to the depth of love we shared and my journey now must be a solitary one, I knew and I know, but it still overwhelms me some days.
As you noted, emotions are not logical; they do not conform to rules and reason. They are demanding and deserving of respect, however. One ignores them with high peril. As my mother-in-law would say, "This too shall pass."
Thank you. This is kindness.
Finished a draft? When that happens I'm mostly worried about the bottle of Absolut I keep for emergencies : )
Luckily I’m sober…
The emergency is someone else wanting a drink. I'm not even allowed a second cup of coffee : )
:)
Ha. Yes. She’s so bloody rational isn’t she - that other voice. I mean, WTAF. Although, for what it’s worth - I think you’ll be ok too. Im still chuckling (whatever)
Can really relate!
I know it's no consolation, but some of us who abandoned our creative urges 50 years ago for job security and a "career" are enjoying your books a great deal in our dotage. My Orthodox ophthalmologist saw my copy of In Judgement of Others at a recent visit and engaged me at some length in a Talmudic discussion of the ills of judging anyone. You never know. Thank you for your work. Good stuff!
Ha! I love that! And it’s always so amazing to hear of my work out in the wild. Thank you for telling me. Very happy it gave rise to that discussion.
Congrats on finishing the draft. 🥳🥰🫶🏻
Thank you!