Your work with parts is heroic. I've done some IFS therapy but "feeling" into my body has never worked for me. I was always saying " I don't know how I feel." Something else in this essay really resonated: "we can change our past experience. Not the events, but the emotional aftermath." You're so right. I never thought I could do this but I have. When my father died last year, I decided that I am in charge of how I feel about my memories. I've chosen to see my father as flawed, but inherently good, a changed man in his final decades. And it's given me some strength not to hold onto the anger that hurt only me. It's such effort, isn't it!
A settle is a low, upholstered bench the height of the hearth that sits in front of a fire. Think of the prayer stools in a church then elongate them. A marble run is a 1970's game made of colourful bits of plastic that slot together to create a roller coaster for marbles. You can configure it however you want, gravity does the rest. A table bomb (no longer available I think) was an indoor Christmas firework my father would buy from Harrods. It had a fuse he would light, the resulting explosion caused Christmassy confetti and tinsel to rain down all over the table.
I love that it begins with cats with amazing names, and that I don't get the details, just the ghostly presence of the blond man in the loo whose memory winds up decapitated.
And the ending:
"...we can change our past experience. Not the events, but the emotional aftermath. I will stay with my marble run, they will stay with their faces crowding the window, the colours and the twirling glass balls that I set off when I sit down to type. Recovery takes forever. "
Aw, man. Almost over, hey? This collection of writing has been truly special. Intro to Eleanor. Whatever’s next I’m here for it, and whatever’s next after that, etc XO
Well spotted and yes
the title gave a hint to either a substack about crackers or crackers
also did you lose your marbles
Your work with parts is heroic. I've done some IFS therapy but "feeling" into my body has never worked for me. I was always saying " I don't know how I feel." Something else in this essay really resonated: "we can change our past experience. Not the events, but the emotional aftermath." You're so right. I never thought I could do this but I have. When my father died last year, I decided that I am in charge of how I feel about my memories. I've chosen to see my father as flawed, but inherently good, a changed man in his final decades. And it's given me some strength not to hold onto the anger that hurt only me. It's such effort, isn't it!
It's the work, but the pay off is worth it.
Can I just ask: what is a settle? And a marble run? And a table bomb?
A settle is a low, upholstered bench the height of the hearth that sits in front of a fire. Think of the prayer stools in a church then elongate them. A marble run is a 1970's game made of colourful bits of plastic that slot together to create a roller coaster for marbles. You can configure it however you want, gravity does the rest. A table bomb (no longer available I think) was an indoor Christmas firework my father would buy from Harrods. It had a fuse he would light, the resulting explosion caused Christmassy confetti and tinsel to rain down all over the table.
My mouth is agape. What marvels.
🙃
I love that it begins with cats with amazing names, and that I don't get the details, just the ghostly presence of the blond man in the loo whose memory winds up decapitated.
And the ending:
"...we can change our past experience. Not the events, but the emotional aftermath. I will stay with my marble run, they will stay with their faces crowding the window, the colours and the twirling glass balls that I set off when I sit down to type. Recovery takes forever. "
Thanks, Russell
Don't go.
The blond man in the loo! 🤣 Kids are all lunatics >> we are all still kids >> we are all lunatics... 😘 I've enjoyed the Recovery Diaries, Eleanor.
Aw, man. Almost over, hey? This collection of writing has been truly special. Intro to Eleanor. Whatever’s next I’m here for it, and whatever’s next after that, etc XO
So happy they've brought you into my life. xx
Me too. I've learnt so much about you... And about me too in the process. Love you 🩷
Xxx
Will miss these, Eleanor.
I’ll miss them too! One more tomorrow....
I'm really going to miss The Recovery Diaries. 😢
You’re crackers. I’m crackers. We all are I reckon. Is this really the end ??
Tomorrow is the end
watch it Melissa
Should I be afraid ???????
definitely
😂