I have caught up this weekend from Chapter One to this Chapter. It's obvious that this novel captured me as I kept reading (with the Super Bowl halftime show muted!)
So, this is a longish comment.
I thought of Yates' Revolutionary Road where he sets off the action with an amateur play. But he drops it once it's served its purpose, while you carry it along as a major theme.
The script in the ward was a great device, although you otherwise captured the dreadful monotony of the place so well that I am greatly relieved Tessa is out!
The character that I love reading about the most is Ros. When she's on the page, my interest is piqued the most. Of course, she needs her supporting cast, but now that she's off to Cara, I'm missing her presence. I'm half rooting for her, half disapproving of her. (is she more interesting because she's beautiful? I think so.)
I appreciate your restraint in revealing backstories. You make us curious and then eventually reward us with more information.
You have a great touch with details building on each other. In this chapter, for example, the hold all for Freddie's sports gear and the hold all for Tess's emotions.
A few things that surprised me.
Primogeniture in favor of Peter? Puzzled me until you wrote about the neglect, which is also carelessness, of Ros's parents. There's a paragraph where you give us insight into Ros's childhood emptiness that she fills with acting. You use the word 'omnipotence" in an unusual way.
"She wasn’t aware that a drip feed of neglect, a daily laceration of the missing can lead a faith to break, an omnipotence to be born, a mind to opt for fantasy, and a body to be so riddled with discomfort that to live amongst its screaming nerve-endings becomes a thing impossible."
"Omnipotence" made me read this key paragraph twice.
A few references/other details I enjoyed that come to top of mind:
It's fascinating to read this, your experience in real time, a glimpse unavailable to the writer when a novel is published whole; and you'll understand that much as I want to reply in equal detail, I must wait, sit on my hands and shut my mouth, until the story is completed. But when it is, I'm going to talk about it.
By chance I discovered your writing tonight. I love it, I love the dialogue. I started with some fiction, but then quit until I learned that I could use the
“Poetry mode“ setting. I hated the spaces inserted between straight dialogue. But after reading this, I wasn’t bothered at all about it. Great. Thank you!
I have caught up this weekend from Chapter One to this Chapter. It's obvious that this novel captured me as I kept reading (with the Super Bowl halftime show muted!)
So, this is a longish comment.
I thought of Yates' Revolutionary Road where he sets off the action with an amateur play. But he drops it once it's served its purpose, while you carry it along as a major theme.
The script in the ward was a great device, although you otherwise captured the dreadful monotony of the place so well that I am greatly relieved Tessa is out!
The character that I love reading about the most is Ros. When she's on the page, my interest is piqued the most. Of course, she needs her supporting cast, but now that she's off to Cara, I'm missing her presence. I'm half rooting for her, half disapproving of her. (is she more interesting because she's beautiful? I think so.)
I appreciate your restraint in revealing backstories. You make us curious and then eventually reward us with more information.
You have a great touch with details building on each other. In this chapter, for example, the hold all for Freddie's sports gear and the hold all for Tess's emotions.
A few things that surprised me.
Primogeniture in favor of Peter? Puzzled me until you wrote about the neglect, which is also carelessness, of Ros's parents. There's a paragraph where you give us insight into Ros's childhood emptiness that she fills with acting. You use the word 'omnipotence" in an unusual way.
"She wasn’t aware that a drip feed of neglect, a daily laceration of the missing can lead a faith to break, an omnipotence to be born, a mind to opt for fantasy, and a body to be so riddled with discomfort that to live amongst its screaming nerve-endings becomes a thing impossible."
"Omnipotence" made me read this key paragraph twice.
A few references/other details I enjoyed that come to top of mind:
Lord Grantham!
Ethel the Unready
Your description of the kiss and where you set it
I have to remember that a "lead" is a "leash"
Most tiresome character so far: Brian
Most annoying character so far: Diane
It's fascinating to read this, your experience in real time, a glimpse unavailable to the writer when a novel is published whole; and you'll understand that much as I want to reply in equal detail, I must wait, sit on my hands and shut my mouth, until the story is completed. But when it is, I'm going to talk about it.
Of course! No spoilers!
Gorgeous. Agree, one of the best chapters yet!! Especially appreciate Ethel. Very nice. Just such a crisp character!
Super writing with suspense as well.
♥️
Brilliant, one of the best chapters yet. It feels as if the pace is picking up, too.
🙌
By chance I discovered your writing tonight. I love it, I love the dialogue. I started with some fiction, but then quit until I learned that I could use the
“Poetry mode“ setting. I hated the spaces inserted between straight dialogue. But after reading this, I wasn’t bothered at all about it. Great. Thank you!
My pleasure! Welcome aboard.