Banger opening, Eleanor! Your trademark deftness of character sketches and scene and detail. So many favorite moments, like this one: “The rest of them, Paul, Bridget, their dad moved with the jagged sense of a world outside; Paul raced and Bridget slumped and their dad bent but Janet floated above it.”
“Her mum said everything quietly. Bridget wished she would shout sometimes or do something mad, but her mum swished along in a cloud of cigarette smoke and gentleness as if she lived in a cloud; nothing touched her.” Love feeling some of the familiar origin behind a daughter’s desire to fight. What a great beginning.
Wow, this is really well written, Eleanor. I’m quite surprised and mad the presses didn’t pick this up! Really loving the premise, the characterization and the voice. I can’t wait for the rest of it.
Thanks, Andrei. I appreciate you saying that. It has been maddening. But on the plus side, I get to publish it here, and connect with readers in real time, which is a joy for me. And maybe once they see that it’s commercially viable, they’ll pick up the phone to my agent…
With so words, you firmly establish the setting for the story and the personality of this family. I’m excited to be here from the beginning and to see how it unfolds week after week.
What wonderful writing!
Thank you, Sarah
What a beginning!
Love this Eleanor! I read 2 first as it’s what came across my screen. Superb writing and wonderful reading. I’m in!
Banger opening, Eleanor! Your trademark deftness of character sketches and scene and detail. So many favorite moments, like this one: “The rest of them, Paul, Bridget, their dad moved with the jagged sense of a world outside; Paul raced and Bridget slumped and their dad bent but Janet floated above it.”
Ah, thanks, Julie, yes; I loved that line when it came out.
“Her mum said everything quietly. Bridget wished she would shout sometimes or do something mad, but her mum swished along in a cloud of cigarette smoke and gentleness as if she lived in a cloud; nothing touched her.” Love feeling some of the familiar origin behind a daughter’s desire to fight. What a great beginning.
Echoing the other comments here. Fantastic start, richly painted in such a short space of words.
This is a movie. I forgot I was reading.
Well-done!
🙌🏻
Wow, this is really well written, Eleanor. I’m quite surprised and mad the presses didn’t pick this up! Really loving the premise, the characterization and the voice. I can’t wait for the rest of it.
Thanks, Andrei. I appreciate you saying that. It has been maddening. But on the plus side, I get to publish it here, and connect with readers in real time, which is a joy for me. And maybe once they see that it’s commercially viable, they’ll pick up the phone to my agent…
Always a chance of that, and it would set such a good precedent for the rest of us. Good luck to you!
I’m on a one woman mission to rehabilitate indie publishing for the literary fiction writer. Glad to have your support.
Tight.
🙌🏻
With so words, you firmly establish the setting for the story and the personality of this family. I’m excited to be here from the beginning and to see how it unfolds week after week.
Thanks, Ben. How family’s show up, I’ll never know. I’ll always be grateful for the mystery.
Such an excellent job grounding us in the family while setting the stage for a broader plot.
Thanks, Stephanie
You do a great job of showing us in a few paragraphs the dynamics of this nuclear family. (There. I've gotten that terrible pun out of my system).
Ha! 🙌🏻
Vivid and crafty! You bring the moment and the characters so immediately to life.
🙌🏻
I don’t remember if we ever received that leaflet in our post box… but I saw and remember so many crumpled and discarded…
Already.. tearfully.. addicted!
Thank you for this Eleanor… already an emotional tide…
So glad you're on board from the start. It has made me rage since the very first moment of research.