Gosh there’s such a lot I can’t write about here; the sticky ends of relationships, the interactions which throw me, the details I have to walk away with - this public diary is not the place for them. There would be betrayal. And hurt. There would be anger. And so I talk about what I’m having for lunch (yesterday’s leftover salad augmented with half an avocado I found in the fridge and the rest of the smoked trout which needs eating.) What I’m doing today (a thousand hats!) What makes my head hurt (the hats). What makes my heart hurt (my son going away). And I have imaginary arguments in my head about why I have to cook the dinner at lunchtime (there won’t be time once we’re back from the orthodontist.) And wonder who I’m arguing with (the kids are all in different places, Andy’s at work, I’m in a pause between rushing in and rushing out.) One of my favourite David Shrigley pieces is his tombstone list. It sums me up, these frantic marks which signpost my day from dawn until late tonight. Bread Milk Cornflakes Baked Beans Tomatoes Aspirin Biscuits dead. That’ll be me. And in the meantime I get all sorts of things done, an edit finished yesterday, a bag packed and weighed and repacked and weighed again for Armenia, estate meetings prepped and arranged, appointments at the doctor and dentist, and near the end of this list I remember all the things I wanted to talk about today, how I had an interesting to and fro with someone recently about sobriety and what it means. They said they hadn’t been an unmanageable drinker, just a glass of an evening, and I hadn’t time to say this, what I wanted to say: that the distance between one drink and none, and a thousand drinks and none is the same. It’s identical. You may as well drink a bottle as a glass. The tendrils of booze reach further than even I could have imagined and I have a pretty wild imagination. But the end has come so I promise I’ll start with this seam tomorrow, and I leave with the thoughts unfinished, doctor, dentist, post office, printers dead.
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Naturopath , mum , gp booking for mum , dogs walk and food , electricians dead 😂🤣