Thank you

The Obsessive Diary - 31st Dec

Jacobi took this photo. He said I could post it as long as I mentioned his instagram handle jacobi_pov. The seal popped up from the inky freeze of a Welsh sea off the coast of Swansea.

Dear Everyone,

These last three months have been hail stones, this diary an entry of sorrows and however much I’ve wanted to turn up with ta dah! a break in the clouds it wasn’t possible. (Isn’t the urge to please crazy?) But I can turn up with thanks. I know what I’ve been going through is the same as everyone else. I know my hurts have matched yours. I’ve been expressing it all here and people have said it’s helped them to see it articulated, which is gratifying and a relief because god knows there’ve been moments I’ve thought, Why am I doing this? I’ve written about where I’m at because it makes me feel better, and then I’ve felt embarrassed when the messages have come in. So incredibly kind and loving. So generous. You’ve helped me. Your kindnesses have been surprising and warming and deeply healing. I’ve always told my children that the world is filled with beautiful people and you’ve proved it. So thank you. Thank you all very much. I hope I can do the same for you.

Kit de Waal wrote in a recent post her wish for others to know, “kindness and friendship, both to you and from you,” and to “keep your heart open to possibilities, you can never have too much of either.” I’m reading Elizabeth Day‘s book Friendaholic; a brilliant exploration of friendship itself, and her relationship to it, and twelve months ago I stood with my toes over the edge of 2025 and said it would be the year I invested in community. These three elements come together as I stand with my toes touching 2026; during these past months friendship new and old has proved yet again a foundational and non negotiable value in my life. I love my friends. You’re more important than romantic love, and for the myriad sweetnesses that have come to my door this year in phone calls and messages and cards and lunches and walks and gallops and unexpected but unbelievably touching and incredibly perfect presents that have left me crying at the kitchen table that anyone could be so thoughtful, for all the offers and invites and arms around shoulders, thank you. My wish is that everyone reading this has the same warmth in their life, has friends like you and is able to give and receive as you do. You’re the best.

Okay 2026. What have you got? What can I give? How shall we meet each other, and where? This coming year feels wide open. I feel bare walking into it. I’ve no idea what’s in store. Not even an inkling. But thanks to you all, I do feel in community. We walk together.

Eleanor