Remember the blood clot in the hall? I know it’s an awful image, it was a blockage, huge and blind, ears stuck on for show, eye sockets empty, a mouth that stuffed food from tiny hands. Monstrous and idiotic and it said no, no, no as I knelt before it asking to go out. I’ve been meditating on it and guess what? This happened. From its bulbous bloody centre I saw hands, a body pushing at the membrane that held it jelly like in form. I saw a figure break through and the blood spill, an oceanic wave of stagnant clotted red hit the walls, washed down the stairs as this figure, slimed and struggling, burst through. She’s covered in it, she cannot see or hear yet, the wet sludge sticks to her hair, stretches as she opens her mouth, raises her arms, she is trying to free herself. I’m there with a bucket and cloths, a warm shower, a hose, every day I meditate and we are back at the moment she bursts out almost suffocating, her face obliterated by deep red viscous that I hold a sponge to. My allies and parts have rushed to the scene, we each do our bit to clean, and she keeps emerging slowly, first I saw one blue eye, then silver teeth. I don’t know who she is. As we wipe away the blood and pull the membranes from her mouth like a baby born, the airwaves cleared of mucus, she emerges silver every day. And every day as we get to the soft reveal of her face the alarm beside me rings and I am snapped out of that place and returned to the room in which I sit, the candles burning, the yoga blocks beneath my knees. This voyage of discovery never ends does it. Each time I think I’ve seen them all, another part emerges, she of the silver hair and silver teeth and one blue eye who has lived for generations in a blood clot in the hall blocking me and who knows who else from thinking they can play. The monstrous false-eared, empty-eyed clot is gone and always within the trouble lies another truth fighting to get out.
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My breakfast ruined
"My allies and parts have rushed to the scene, we each do our bit to clean, and she keeps emerging slowly, first I saw one blue eye, then silver teeth. I don’t know who she is."
Yes.