I spent a month in the desert of Sedona training to be a yoga teacher. I hung out with a man and his guitar singing songs that sounded like Paris Texas. I hitched a ride in a camper and drove down through Utah and New Mexico where the rocks are piled like coins. I met an old friend and got hit by a truck on the highway, nearly turning us over. I flew home with yoga fitness to a commune thriving with musicians and healers, my Angel man waiting, a recording studio built in a cabin in the garden, his band rehearsing. Bali happened too, somewhere in all this, a storm on a boat, almost shipwrecked, washing me up on the shores of Komodo. I knelt at a tree and gave thanks and ate rice and stood on a table watching dragons. I was searching, and at home I searched too. Healers laid me on grass, ran their hands through the air and told me I was this or that; it was past life trauma, a trapped soul, a possession, a hex, an entity, darkness - an opinion on each other’s pain was easy. We tore down a barn to release a trapped soul murdered there. We circled the house in crystals and stayed up all night with a crying ghost baby in a bedroom. We cleansed and wafted and chanted and lit, we rebirthed and trailed sage and clouds of glory. We prayed and meditated and channelled and explained. Everyone was on the candida diet. Angel man and I did Vipassana, ten days silent retreat in Wales and returned light as air but the meditation had frightened me, the sitting had felt like free-falling and I’d written a poem on my pillow with a contraband pencil found under the mat of my room. Gong baths, didge healing, Bowen therapy, I did everything yet still the feeling persisted, what happened, a search for an answer that would answer the sense of disquiet. I had been sad all my life. I had retreated and felt alone. And the stones went up one by one and the year swung round and the disquiet persisted, a trouble in my bones, but it would be put aside temporarily, this search, because coming down the tracks was a wedding.
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What a wonderfully honest and well told recounting of what you were experiencing in and through all that was going on..........I'm loving reading these thank you EB xxx