8 Questions for... Shalom Auslander

The Fetal Position

Photo by Claudio Schwarz on Unsplash

Shalom Auslander

is an internationally acclaimed novelist, short story writer, essayist and scriptwriter. His work has appeared in The New Yorker, The New York Times, This American Life and many others around the world. He writes Shalom Auslander’s Fetal Position, and lives somewhere. His latest book is Feh, a memoir.

1. Why Substack?

I was going to try Twitter, but I’m not a big enough asshole. I’m an asshole, sure, but not Twitter level. Those folks are just out of my league. They’re professionals. So I stayed away from all social media, I still do. Then a friend mentioned Substack to me, and I spoke with

Etgar Keret

, who was already on the platform. He’s a charming bastard, that one, and he talked me into it.  He said that while it hasn’t exactly been a goldmine (not enough recipe posts, I suppose), at the very least, it was a place for him to put stuff that no other outlet would publish and be sure a certain amount of people would see it. For a writer, that’s invaluable.

2. How long did it take you to find your groove?

Not too long. The Fetal Position had a “purpose” early on. I saw it as a place for those of us that life and existence had caused to crawl up on the floor and lose our minds to go and laugh about it all for a minute or two. I see a lot of Substacks which are described as “musings,” which is fine, but I think being specific with what your Substack is for helps to guide the project. That’s not unlike the writing of a novel or memoir either; it changes along the way, of course, but a general sense of what it’s trying to do, and for whom, is enormously helpful.

3. How has it changed you?

I’m trying very hard to make sure it doesn’t, but I will say that I genuinely appreciate and enjoy the comments, which I didn’t expect. It’s nice, after all, to have some company in my padded room.

4. What mistakes have you made?

Being born, but others were more responsible for that than I was. I’m pressing charges against them both.

5. To pay or not to pay?

I use the “pay if you can” system. I’m thankful to the readers who do pay, and I imagine very, very bad things happening to the ones who don’t.

6. What artistic and technical choices have you made?

I have a strict “No Agelasts” policy – which was Rabelais’ term for people who are afraid of laughter and humor. That allows me to say what I want, and block people who enjoy being offended, or just everything too damned seriously. Humor has a serious intent, but not a serious bearing.

7. What’s been the effect on your writing?

My worry is that Substack will take away time from my other writing. So I keep a close watch on that. So far it hasn’t, but if it does, I’ll have to cut back.

8. In it for the long haul?

See my answer to Question 7. Books come first, flat out. Nothing else gives me the same satisfaction. Shame, since nobody reads books anymore, but that’s part of the charm of Substack – for readers, by readers. It reminds me of that tiny patch of melting ice that polar bear is standing on somewhere in the North Pole. Substack is the ice. Readers are the bear. The water is Twitter, which is why the bear doesn’t want to swim in it. Sewage. Smart bear.

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