8 Questions for... Heather Bartos MD

Midlife Unzipped with Dr. Heather Bartos

Photo by Claudio Schwarz on Unsplash

Heather Bartos, MD

is the author of Quickies: One Hundred Little Lessons for Living Sexily Ever After in Midlife, and the upcoming novel Are You There, God? It’s Me, Menopause. A menopause specialist, Navy veteran and Reiki practitioner, she now loves to writes the stories that don’t fit neatly into a prescription pad.

Heather didn’t exactly set out to become an author—she just couldn't ignore the pull of telling the truth, especially the messy, funny, glorious truth of midlife womanhood. Her Substack celebrates reinvention, rebellion, and what it means to be both wise and wildly unfinished. She believes midlife isn’t a crisis—it’s a second adolescence, with better shoes and fewer Fs to give.

She lives in Texas, drinks her coffee black, and is still learning to play the electric guitar.

1. Why Substack?

Because I got freakin’ tired of chasing likes, trends, and algorithms. Living in a very conservative state meant I had to keep a “good girl/public face” on social—which made me feel like a Stepford influencer. Substack? It’s where my real, slightly rebellious self gets to come out and play. No filters. No hashtags. Just me and a ridiculously welcoming community that actually reads.

2. How long did it take you to find your groove?

Still searching—but enjoying the stumble. Some days I feel like I’m channelling a midlife Carrie Bradshaw with a Joan Jett edge, other days I’m just trying to spell “menopause” correctly on the first try. But I adore writing these posts. They’re not MFA-polished, but they’re honest, weird, feminist-funny, and peppered with Gen X nostalgia. Basically, I’m aiming to be the alien love child of Brene Brown and Nora Ephron.

3. How has it changed you?

Substack has turned me into a literary risk-taker. I mean, I am reading fantastic literary-grade fiction and I’m writing about queefs and boogers. But I’ve realized that’s ok. This type-A, checklist-toting gynaecologist is now… posting poems. Drafting serialized fiction. Letting her inner weirdo out to dance. It’s a little wild. It’s a little raw. It’s a LOT more fun than anything I expected. Honestly? It’s changed my creative DNA.

4. What mistakes have you made?

Oh, ALL of them. The best kind. Like the time I wrote something I thought was chef’s kiss genius—giggling like a 9-year-old freezing panties at a slumber party—and it totally flopped. Then I dashed off a serious post while half-distracted, and it blew up. Lesson? Write what lights you up. Because the process is the win. And it’s cheaper than therapy.

5. To pay or not to pay?

I’ve spent years paying others to read my stuff. The fact that people now willingly subscribe—and some even pay? That’s wild. That’s wonderful. I’m not building a pyramid scheme, I’m building a community. And yes, I have male readers now—which is a twist for a gynaecologist, but hey, I contain multitudes.

6. What artistic/technical choices have you made?

I am a GIF artist. A connoisseur. A curator. Every post gets carefully paired gifs like a sommelier choosing wine for every course. Giphy is my visual love language. If it ever shuts down, I’ll be recording my own using my cat Rey-Rey and a green screen. Some may find it banal, but a good gif makes my day.

7. What’s been the effect on your writing?

It’s loosened me up—in the best way. I aim for two posts a week, give or take the chaos. And as a recovering Type-A Gen X-er, that rhythm has become my writing meditation. It’s not precious. It’s just joyful.

8. In it for the long haul?

Hell yes. Even if just one person reads it, I’m hooked. Substack has reignited my voice—and the more I write, the more I want to write. I’m not here for virality. I’m here to “edutain” my ride-or-dies twice a week and laugh my ass off while doing it.

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Heather Bartos, MD