4th March
The Obsessive Diary
What I’ve noticed is this: when I think into the future and fears spring up to fill the space what’s missing is me. In other words, the space they’re filling is the space I will take up when I get to that point in time. And when I arrive at that point, because I fill the space, they’re not there; what I imagine that moment will be like is not what it is actually like. I was thinking about this yesterday as I landed in JFK, and it equates to the other end of imagining, when the discomfort of now comforted by the idea of an imagined future. When I win the prize / go on holiday / lose two stone / have a new kitchen I will feel better. It’s Tessa’s thinking in, In Judgement of Others. It’s living in an imagined future which feels so perfect because the thing which is in pain, me, is not there.
Keep reading with a 7-day free trial
Subscribe to The Literary Obsessive to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.